Finance, Forex and Investments

Spiritually Speaking, which Economic Model would Jesus approve of?

Economic Models explained with Cows SOCIALISM You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbour. COMMUNISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk. FASCISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk. NAZISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you. BUREAUCRATISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away... TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. AN AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead. ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull. A FRENCH CORPORATION You have two cows. You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows. A JAPANESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide. A GERMAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves. AN ITALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch. A RUSSIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. A SWISS CORPORATION You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them. A CHINESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation. AN INDIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You worship them. A BRITISH CORPORATION You have two cows. Both are mad. AN IRAQI CORPORATION Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.... AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate. A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION You have two cows. The one on the left looks kinda cute. :) You guys are Hilarious! Hugs to everybody!!!

Public Comments

1. He doesn't give a cow.
2. Keynsian wreckonomics, most probably.
3. THE EVIL CORPORATION You have one cow. You give the cow two choices two worship you or burn him eternally in the BBQ fire
4. OBJECTIVISM
5. Har Har.
6. Can you ask that again, but with dolphins?
7. Theocracy. Theocracy: government guided by God through revelation to a prophet. The first government upon this earth was a theocracy. It was a government in which God ruled by giving his commandments and his laws to the children of men. He directed by revelation, in some instances by messengers direct from his presence, in others by speaking from time to time through his servants who held the priesthood; he directed them not only in regard to matters of a spiritual nature but also pertaining to their civil welfare. It was the intention of the Lord that this should continue. If man had been willing to hearken to the voice of the Lord and walk according to his commandments, as those commandments were given in the beginning even unto this day, this world would have seen peace, and righteousness would have prevailed upon its face. In the days of the exodus, when the people of Israel were ruled by a theocracy, the Lord gave divers laws and commandments for the government of the nation; among them we read: "Thou shalt not revile the gods, nor curse the ruler of thy people." Judges were appointed by divine direction. Moses, in reiterating the Lord's commands, charged the people to this effect: "Judges and officers shalt thou make thee in all thy gates, which the Lord thy God giveth thee, throughout thy tribes: and they shall judge the people with just judgment." It is significant that the judges were so highly regarded as to be called gods, to which fact Jesus referred when threatened with stoning because He had said He was the Son of God. "Did the Lord have a hand in the organization of the United States government?" asks the enquirer. Yes, the Lord had a hand in framing its Constitution. Why did not the Lord, at that time, introduce a perfect government-a theocracy? It was simply because the people were not prepared for it-they were too corrupt; and although they had more integrity, more virtue, more honesty, and more sympathy and feeling for that which is just and upright and good, than any other portion of the inhabitants of the earth, and probably more than a great many now have, yet they were far from being prepared for the government of God, which is a government of union.
8. If we apply our reading of the New Testament to these models....probably socialism - but the story of the wedding feast at Cana suggests our Saviour might also have cast a kindly eye on the Australian corporation!
9. ~laughs~
10. Jesus would support a system according to His teaching. You have two cows give both to the poor. Then you teach the art of farming to the poor men that you gave the cows too. You grow a garden and eat healthy as in the Garden of Eden, and feast upon the word of God every day.
11. LAUGH... Of the choices, I'd go with traditional capitalism as the one Jesus would favor... ...but an emphatic nod to the person that said objectivism!
12. What if Jesus is Lactose Intolerant?
13. the enron deal was hilarious. thanks!
14. I always thought Communism was the most "Christian" on paper: From each according to his ability, to each according to his need. People who think that Jesus would have supported an open free market really need to reread their New Testament.
15. Very Nice question Star jumper ;-)) LOL If you will allow this Godless Barbarian to provide you with his thoughts on the matter. As I understand the pre-church concept of the teachings, before their corruption. Iesus was a full blown SOCIALIST! As for myself, I wont tell you what I would do with the 'COW' just in case her husband reads this ;-))
16. Certainly not anything connected with religion, and a theocracy is just going too far overboard and does not allow the people a voice, so that is just dumb.
17. Ha ha, the Enron one had me cracking up. Starred.
18. I reject your premise mate.. Everyone knows that New Zealanders (Kiwi's) prefer sheep.
19. Received this in my e-mail 4 years ago. It's cute.
20. Lmfao!
21. From a Brit who tragically knows some poor fellow who died from the human form of mad cows disease. I stopped eating beef after watching a documentary about it, it was rather shocking.
22. The greek insane way milk the cow till it dies, then cry lots about it till the UN can't listen to it any longer and gets you a goat!
23. ANARCHY!
24. ROFL! You are awesome! lol
25. You forgot the NON-TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM He spoke and bang.. He had two cows and a bull to grow a herd. Thats my vote.
26. God's way: Make you own damn Cow!